MEN / WOMEN AND THE DATING GAME !

DATING SHOULD NOT BE A BLOODY GAME !

I'VE DONE IT AGAIN - TRUSTED, WORE MY HEART ON MY SLEEVE - BUT - I STILL CONCEDE - I'M SURE THIS ONE WAS DIFFERENT !!

I'M SURE HE WAS !

I'M SURE !

SURE ...

BOLLOX

I DON'T BLOODY KNOW ANYMORE !

MEN -

OK - I know they are NOT all the same ! - BUT - With experiences I have had ( OK is not alot )
I'm getting more and more sceptical that a decent one is out there
( MY FATHER and VERY FEW MALE FRIENDS are the ONLY good ones among us ! )
( and before a good friend shouts at me - I KNOW JOHN - I KNOW - SOME WOMEN ARE JUST AS BAD !! )

Quick Over View -

MARRIED First Ever B/F and Went on too have two kids - Together 21 years - ish - he got ill - Crumbling spine - Surgery - decreased mobility - THEN i got ill - Pituitary Brain Tumors - Personality change, HUGE weight gain - Many Many other problems - Waits for me to be so bad, that HE then had enough - so Up's and leaves WITH THE CHILDREN. ( Which are now back with me - and all going OK - ish ) ............ The EX ... Well, He cannot even talk properly now to me.

Since then ( Two Years ago ) I have had about 7 dates - and when i say 'date' I mean in a coffee shop - or at my own house FOR A COFFEE - yes - i know everywhere says you should NOT invite guys back - have guys round - but - being the type of person I am - If they did anything i did not like - If i did not get to them first - the dog would - so i have no issues there !!

OK - I will work on individual dates in their own post - BUT .... This one is about the latest guy ...

OMG - GULLIBLE ME THOUGHT I HAD FOUND THE ONE !

Me - I am VERY in tune with people - very good at people reading and very keen on body language and I pick up even the smallest of details - WELL - I THOUGHT I DID !

From the Start, Darren ( NO - I am NOT changing his name - because he will know it is about him if he reads - and - frankly - no-one else knows him - so !! - what does it matter ! ) and I 'hit it off' - I always make sure we speak on the phone before a coffee date, because voices to me are a big deal ! = I don't want to go out with Joe Pasquale ! ( Even though i am SURE he is lovely - THAT voice would - without a doubt, grate !! - and YES - I am aware that mine - to many, is very common and piercing too !! No - You do not have to tell me ! )

Of the dates I have enjoyed, the most rewarding were the ones where I had actually already spoken to the guy on the phone. The cadence and timbre of their voice carries a lot of information.
Do they rush or interrupt ?
Are they excited ?
What words do they choose to express their thoughts ?
Do they even express their thoughts ? !

Words. Powerful words. The sound of the human voice gives me a nearly three-dimensional picture of the person. Who they are - what they stand for. And those early on cues, I am keying on are often well below the language and into the actual feeling I get at hearing the person’s voice ... But - I need to hear dialect to feel and to understand them ! - Does that make sense ?

Darren and I had nearly three hours - outright, on the phone - we BOTH did not stop chatting, both interested and attentive, a brilliant start - so i thought ....

OK - so the initial chat had gone superbly, Next - the Meeting - The Coffee !!
He was outside the house 30 mins before he should have been - but - i was on the computer - and had a feeling there was a car there - but - did not look - Then the Phone went

" I'm actually outside " - he said
I looked out of the window !
" Ohhhhhhhhhh shit - YOU SHOULD HAVE COME TO THE DOOR YA NUMPTY " - lol - probably not the best ever thing to say upon finally meeting - but in hindsight - a good thing - because it put us both at our ease

I went and wrestled the dog out of number one place at the door -
NO ME FIRST
NO ME
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr me me me First
me me me me me !
I pushed her out of the way with my knee
and opened the door - Complete with dog barking !
I pushed the dog back with a foot - held the door open with the other foot, and tilted my head beckoning him into the hall way !!
He bent down and ruffled the dog's hair - Well - she loved him from that point on wards and left us alone !!
We smiled at each other and he grabbed me, and gave me a huge great bear hug - ok - he was not a big guy - Well - he was Tall about 5ft10" - but he was not - built, shall we say !! Just normal !! We both really enjoyed the hug - it felt just right - normal and natural and warm - lovely,
I walked through to the kitchen = " Wanna coffee " I said
He could not stop looking at me - In a nice way - Putting me completely at ease,
To which he replied " Naaaa - Just a water would be nice, thanks ! "- it was a boiling hot and sticky day - and he had just traveled two hours to see me ......... sorry - just in case you missed that -
TWO HOURS DRIVE TO SEE LIL OLDE ME !! wheww whewwwww !!

Anyways - got him an iced water and we went and sat in the front room - Instead of sitting on the sofa on the opposite side of the room - like the other guys had done - he came and sat - slap bang - right next to me - and this immediately, felt right !
Well - we chatted about anything and everything - Laughing and joking and listening and coaxing information, There were definitely electricity between us - and yes- he mentioned it too so it was not me running away with myself ! He very gently and very calmly looked into my eyes, as we spoke and laughed - we chatted - and he just stroked my leg - the electric between us was immense.
Anyways - we spent the whole evening deep in conversation, Both totally feeling at home and natural - it was lovely - 12pm came - and he said - due to being in London early - he would leave and come back on the Thursday - The next day of mine where the kids were with their dad - so - I had the house quiet and to myself ... This suited me - Can't wait !

We BOTH spent Weds and Thursday Texting and Whatapp'ing and Phoning each other - all felt so habitual - maybe that was the problem ?! - But - it was electric and there was definitively something there, for both of us ... We had a fabulous time Thursday - The cat ( Who HATES everyone ) spent the evening on his lap and we ate ice cream out of the tub and chatted and laughed and had a cuddle, kiss and Natural Progression without being sordid - Then - 12pm came and he had to go because - due in the West End again in the morning - oh he also said he had to go home via his parents ( at 12pm ) to give his dad a jab for pain because he had broken his hip - and his mum could not do it - well - OK - seemed very late for injections - but - OK - i'm no doctor ....  ) Off he went .....
He messaged me when he got home - saying he had had a lovely evening and how wonderful i was, and how good i looked and how he loved my curves, and how he could not believe he had found me on a dating site.
He Went on about me not being so worried that he was going to wander off - and he would always be there - we had such a connection that he could not walk away now even if he wanted too ... PMSL - and i believed it all ...... He and I both came off the website we met on - and we both carried on chatting and phoning and laughing - On more than one occasion he would tell me he would be by my side as often as possible - and he re-iterated that he was so busy with work - but even tho - when he was not texting and phoning - he would be thinking of me .... HOW DARN CUTE IS THAT !

Well - He did tell me he would not be able to make a visit over the week-end - BUT he would be there as early as possible Tuesday evening - Well - I bought in special water for him ( OK - That sounds naff - But - i had made the effort to get in stuff he liked !! )  - I had also ordered in a burger - That he fancied - and cleaned the house from top to bottom - and this is no mean feat with two kids - two cats a long hair dog and an invisible illness !! Once again - a LOVELY LOVELY EVENING - lots of chat - and normal, flowing enhancement to our relationship - all amid laughs and electric spark - Then i started to get tired - so he left - again - 'Having to give dad his jab' ...... I made a big point in asking if he was married - and why he had never been married or had kids - and well - he laughed - looked me directly in the eyes and said CATEGORICALLY that he was NOT married - had no kids and not really had a long term Girlfriend because he worked such long hours - and well - yes - I could tell this was true because the car he owned was a Brand New Merc SK1 .... Not in the slightest interesting to me - but - apparently - according to the noisy neighbours - it was a beautiful and very expensive model !  Well - Once again - We kissed goodnight - and he said he was so looking forward to seeing me again Thursday - but he would keep in touch - BUT - to be aware that tomorrow he was REALLY busy and would not be able to text much - but - NOT to worry  as he would when he could - and really all he wanted to do is be by my side ! - so - OK - I believed him - and off he went ! -

I then did my usual and had a little look on google at his profiles - DARREN HUNT - or rather i tried too - lol WELL - NOTHING !!! - Very very odd - i could Not find a thing on him - and i am very good around a computer and can usually find details about people - and ok - this sounds dodgy - but - it's normal is it not - to want to make sure someone is who they say they are ? - I have nothing to hide and openly tell people to look me up - it's nothing secret ! - but - well - nothing !! - So - anyways - I went into my Linkedin account ( Business ) and LOW AND BEHOLD up comes his picture - ( Must have linked me through phone numbers ) and MMMMMMMM - He has given me a wrong surname ! HE IS NOT A HUNT
( and No - I did not change a letter at that point - i am not as course as that ! -
 but - ok - i may have thought it ! )

 

We spent Weds chatting a bit - and He phoned - Just to see if i was ok - all lovely
Then i could not shut up - and i shouted at him that he had lied to me - I told him i knew he had given me the wrong surname - and what the hell was going on - WAS HE MARRIED? I asked.....
And once again - adamant that he was NOT - he said he would tell me everything on Thursday
HE WAS NOT MARRIED, did NOT have kids, He lived in his own flat - with his sister ( who had moved in whilst his dad recuperated )  and i was making too much of things - but - he would tell me everything now that we had this relationship going - and yes - if i wanted - i could tell people - and yes next time we meet - on Thursday we would take selfies and put them on the internet etc etc ...
I even heard him on the phone telling his co-worker that he was on the phone to his new girlfriend, and to hang on - so - Even then - i did not really doubt what he was saying

  Then THURSDAY !

Well - I had a fair bit to do myself Thursday - so did not text as much as usual
Then - I know he leaves at 5pm - so i text him at 6pm saying
" DRIVE SAFELY AND SEE YOU SOON ! "
To which he replied .....
" Wish you had said that earlier :( xxx "
I asked what the matter was and he text me back - all spelling wrong and double letters - saying he had gone into the back of a transit - or rather been pushed - and hit his head
I WAS NOW VERY VERY VERY SUSS
I asked if he was OK - Not letting my thoughts mar the communications
another 'dodgy text saying
" bbein rrrushedinto hhospital, Kinnngs i think, feelreallllybad, wish i was withhh youu - i neeeeeed a cuddle "
Before this, his texting etc etc had been spot on .. so - ALL VERY ODD - I phoned him -
He put it to answer phone .............. but 3 minutes later - HE PHONED
He sounded terrible - really did - and that you can NOT put on - really sounded like a bad head trauma - He said he could NOT answer the phone in the hospital, but saw it was me, so he had come outside - he wanted to talk and tell me what had happened - Kept saying he did not know where the car was - but he had phoned his brother who was going to come up - He then told me someone had come outside for him - and he had to go - But - he would be in touch and he was really sorry that he had missed our evening, but he would be in touch.....

WAS IT AN EXCUSE ? - IT SOUNDED SO REAL ...



Well - I did not hear from him for 24 hours - Then - eventually - he text - and said they had kept him in for observation - and had now let him home - he was outside the hospital waiting for his brother to come round with a car to take him home - we spoke for a while - Then he had to go ... but he would phone when he got home .......


HE DID !! - well - an hour and a half later - he phoned and we spoke at length about what had happened - and his head - and how he felt - and how he did not know where his car was - and just the fact that he wanted to be with me ............ But - once he had sorted the car out - he would - and he couldnt wait to see me again - and i had kept him going -

WELL - NOT HEARD FROM HIM SINCE !!!

I have Messaged  - and Whats'apt - and Phoned = NOTHING

phone rings and goes to answer phone - ALL TEXTS AND COMMUNICATIONS GET IGNORED

I even said -
"  I think you are dead after a brain impact - please just let me know you are OK " - and still nothing !

OK - so the Car accident was Thursday, I heard from him twice Friday - and that was it -

NOW IT IS TUESDAY !

PHONE AND TEXTS BEING IGNORED .... after categorically stating that he would NEVER ignore me, and i should / may have to be patient / but PATIENT and STUPID ???  - and seriously he was so genuine - and his whole aura and personality trait backed up my thinking that he was a good guy - I am actually really really upset and worried - and thought i seriously had found a decent and lovely fella - Is he dead ? - Is he a player ? ( I doubt, as he was so plausible )

WHY THE FUCK DO MEN DO THIS !!!

IT REALLY IS NOT ACCEPTABLE !!!

JUST TELL WOMEN THE TRUTH AND STOP PLAYING GAMES

IF ILLNESS IS THE REASON - GET SOMEONE ELSE TO TEXT

BEING LEFT 'NOT KNOWING' IS HORRIBLE

ESP IF YOU HAVE A BLOODY ANXIETY ILLNESS SIMILAR TO MY OWN !

I JUST NEED TO KNOW HE IS OK !

FOR FUCK SAKE - MEN !!