#ssbbw #dating #diary & #replies

OK - SO YEAH- IM GETTING LOADS AND LOADS OF MESSAGES - 

LOADS OF LOVELY GUYS 

AND ALOT OF VERY VERY VERY DODGY CHARACTERS !!

I'M ON A SITE THAT IS MIXED WITH ABOUT 12 OTHER 'SITES' - 

from shaglocal - to - DrWhoLovesYou ! - SERIOUS !!

SO - I wrote a new and improved Profile - and have 23 photos - ranging from normal - to bedtime - to a few sexy - but below are the sexy ones - NOTHING TOOOO RAUNCHY !!

SSBBW DATING IS THE SAME AS NORMAL DATING - BUT - im guessing i do get a few odd requests .. and this blog is just to outline the 'few' that i have received over just the past week !! 

I will start off with my Profile - as written by moi - and here is my profile picture !!

See - Thats ME - Totally 'normal' ! - lolol !!



PROFILE .....

PLEASE STOP asking for a shag / fun !! - IM NOT INTERESTED !!

TAKE EVERYTHING WITH A PINCH OF SALT -
All writing is my own - unless it is not - then - It's someone else's !!

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.

IF YOU CAN MAKE A WOMAN LAUGH - YOU CAN MAKE HER DO ANYTHING nearly !!

I'm gonna be very needy, very honest, very open, and OMG I NEVER SHUT UP - I do lurve a chat- i can be NAUGHTY AS HELL ( if your in the know - im a switch but more sub to the right guy ! ) - But thats not for conversation immediately !

Ohh I can make a mean Lasagne - LMAO - But - Thats about it - The Fire Alarm is the dinner bell in my house !!

NOW I HAVE GOT YOUR ATTENTION !!

IF YOUR HOT, SEXY, TALL AND A GENUINE MAN'S MAN - This is Sooooooooooooooo for you !!!
TOTALLY FED UP OF TIME WASTERS ! - SO BEWARE !

If you like what you see - and can handle DECENT FUN GENUINE conversation and YOUR NOT GWUMPY, PERVY, TOOO HORNY, OR A PLAYER
GET IN TOUCH - OK - May sound Loony - BUT - I'm not - My psych said so !! -

Ohh i do have a Unicorn - YES - His name is Dave and he is always with me ( Although he is his own person ) - and YES - i can prove it - so - still not a fruit loop - Just friendly ( NOT IN THAT WAY - BEHAVE ! ) AND FUN - OHH I DO HAVE AN ILLNESS THO - It's OK - YOU can't catch it - But - pmsl - well it does scare people - so - if you are easily scared - i'm NOT for you ! -
Don't worry - i dont have a third leg or a willy or an eye at the back of my head !! - But - it does require UNDERSTANDING and a certain amount of intelligence ! oh and a calming environment some of the time !! NO STRAIGHT JACKET REQUIRED THOUGH !!

PHOTOS - NO COCKS PLEASE - IM BRITISH !
WHY NO SMILES ??? MEN - SMILE - FFS !!!
Or middle fingers ? - why swear at camera - D'OH !
OR Fish - If you have a photo with a Fish
I'm Not Interested -
FISH ARE SMELLY - NOT SEXY !!

God - am i that fussy !!

hell yeah - and i'm worth it !! - * shakes head * as per Loreal Advert - Just wish i had hair ;) !!!

OHHHH COFFEE DRINKERS ONLY - lololol - No - I am TOTALLY SERIOUS !! - 

Tea drinkers are NOT TO BE TRUSTED ! 

You can never be toooooo vigilant where a tea drinker is concerned ! ....

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Yup - It's really that long !!

and omg - it gets them talking i can tell you !!

But - It's totally ME !!!

- OK - so on the site i am on - it allows you to post diaries - and me being me - likes to be different - i will inc some of the guys diary entries !

     

A SELECTION OF MY PHOTOS !!!!!! 

Damian's Dating Diary
Any dominant female?
Written Yesterday at 11:47pmI'm looking for dominant female to show me how it is.
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Mark's Dating Diary
It's like Tennis
Written Yesterday at 11:38pmI've come to the conclusion that good sex is like tennis...
You can practice alone, but it's not much fun; there are some machines that make practice more fun, but it's till never as good as playing with a real person, even if they're not very good at it.
It's best with two; four can be fun, but often leads to clashes and heated arguments between team members.
Doing it well is a combination of fitness, skill, and a certain amount of natural ability (body proportions, agility, strength, control, dexterity - all stuff you're born with a basic level of). you can improve most areas with a bit of effort but most people can't be bothered (well except body proportion, you can't make your limbs longer for tennis and you can easily change the size of you personal bits).
Finally, it's fun the first time with someone new, but it's much more entertaining when you know the person you're playing with. When you know which buttons to push and they know yours it much more fun, lasts longer, and makes you more sweaty.
For the record... I'm not saying tennis skill is an indication of sexual skill; it's a different type of balls; though they are both hairy (usually), it's not a good idea to hit one kind with a racket or bounce them on the ground (unless that's your thing, I guess) ;)
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Kristan's Dating Diary
Frustrating
Written Yesterday at 8:08pmReally horny n no ones playing tonight might have to go out in the real world lol
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Dave's Dating Diary
Helen you're beautiful
Written Yesterday at 5:00pmHelen you are beautiful thank you for your messages the other day I did try to reply but it appears you have blocked me no offence was taken on your messages either just like to say you are beautiful.xx
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Phil's Dating Diary
what is considered cheating
Written Yesterday at 12:23pmA lady has asked the men today in a diary post whether cheating is hiding messages, chats etc from your other half or actually having sex with another.
Just wondered if women have different ideas if where the line is to me?
Would be willing to post feedback if I get any.
Phil
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John's Dating Diary
Invitation
Written Monday at 11:31pmWho can join me for a Speed Mating get together tomorrow at 7pm in Nottingham. Please inbox me if interest...we will have some nice dance on the floor!!
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Ttt's Dating Diary
Anybody nearby for a fuck?
Written Yesterday at 6:34amIs anyone about near Chelmsford want to hoot up and fuck this morning?
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Ok - so - Ttt's Diary was Out of the ordinary - the others - mmmmm - better than normal !
Now - how i like to write my Diary !! -I have a serious inclination - that THIS is why i get so many messages !

There is a Gin Written Yesterday at 4:46pm

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to My Tonic somewhere

shame im t'total !!

I dont know how i think these things up - but OMG I CREASE MYSELF RIGHT UP !!

I've discovered I have a logic fetish Written Yesterday at 3:55pm

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I can't stop coming to conclusions.

But - they are usually right - Most of you guys are seriously just after one thing -

and if i hear - IM NOT THE SAME AS ALL THE REST - I HAVE MORALS - IM GONNA SCWEEEEM !
Arriving at work today a clown opened the door for me,
I thought, that's a nice jester.

To that bloke in a wheelchair Written Monday at 7:51am

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... who nicked my camouflage jacket,
you can hide, but you can't run!

I WILL FIND YOU !!

Good morrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrning gents - and how the lil devils are ya doing ?!

My Morning SO FAR ! ... Written 21st Nov at 9:32am

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Awww BLESS - Rodney woke me at 5am for a hug - he needs hugs- he is precious !! Then he got fed up after 27 mins of me being very uncomfortable with his bum in my face by turning round and 'passion' biting my hand - a little kiss later and he jumped off - i got back to sleep THEN The 'Toy' I thought Derek woke me up playing with - was actually a mouses head !! Nice - RIP Little Stuart ....
Then - Mother texts to reminds me of taking my tablets - so i decide that the world is against me now ( and actually think someone is walking towards my bed - muttering " Out or down! Here I come, with a sharp knife and a clear conscience! " - Yup - so up i get - eventually -

OK - considering i am still on a Mattress on the floor - ( Even tho it is now refunded and a FREEEEE mattress - and VERY comfy ) But - getting my humungous - although has to be said very lovely and sexy frame from the floor is something that could be chronicled in it's own half hour documentary show Mmmmmm maybe narrated by David Attenburgh - If he is still alive - if not - Ohhhhh Tennant could do it ! LOVELY !! Anyway i have my own way of getting up - Please be aware that it is not all to do with my HULK - but because when i actually move - my head decides to stop - or my brain stops telling my feet what to do - so - anyways - i have devised a PLAN - i kneel on the mattress - feet on floor - put one foot in bent position and sing to myself " You are supreme the bloke's scream for grease lightning Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go " and by the end of the last GO - my bottom is in the air and i have gained momentum to STAND UP ! - YAYYYYYYYYY ERRATIC JUMPING AND EBULLIENT CLAPPING ALL ROUND FROM THE AUDIENCE OF DEREK AND RODNEY - Peggaty Does not really come upstairs anymore .. So - Down i went .....
Mmmm Funny smells - and a PeggatyPawz looking VERY Embarrassed - Then - out of the corner of my eye - a - ermmm - Nugget shall we call it - of Poo - and another - and another - and it went on - and on - all the way to the back door - Peggaty Had an accident - No Shit Sherlock - Mmmm - Well - Thats NOT STRICTLY TRUE NOW IS IT !! - There was - LOTS OF IT !!! EVERYWHERE ..
But - she can manage to almost assult me as she strained to propell herself into the conservatory to get the cat food left overs from last night - After eating this she THEN decides to go through to open door to the garden !!!

NO MY FRIENDS AND TRUST LOVED ONES - it does NOT end there !!!
I manage to feed the cats with tiny meows from a sitting down Rodney and Derek being an absolute twit, running backwards and forwards at top speed because he is so so so excited at seeing the food fork ! ...... Well - i feed them - and Derek decides he does not actually want feeding and so goes out - Not " out out " - Just in the garden " out " Taking in the fresh breeze ....

Walking back in the Kitchen - i notice the rest of the mouse that Derek had the head of - using as a football in my bedroom - Pick it up - throw in bin - sign of the cross - Stand Back - Step on Derek who had followed me - and was watching - Just watching - MEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW - Out through the door at top lightening speed - Ohhh for the love of God - I go to back door - step in cat food bowl because PeggatyPawz has since Commando like snuck back in the conservatory - pushed Rodney out of the way - and is polishing off the aftermath of Breakfast - how one cat can make so much mess is nobodies business - anyways - food removed from bowl - I turn around to go back in - my foot slips from under me because it has a jelly like substance on it - smelling rather like salmon ( Felix i believe ) and i go Arse over Ample Tit to the floor - well - im sorry - but the first thing that springs to mind - " SHITTING ARSEHOLES " At the TOP of my voice - " FUCKING DOG " - Laughter from the fence - bugger - the door is not shut - I then start laughing - and have a lick on the nose from Peggaty !! - she always apologises !! - Ohhh NOW I HAVE TO GET UP ALL OVER AGAIN - Que - Grease Music .....................

NSA ???? Written 20th Nov at 12:11pm

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Not Satisfactory Attire
No Sexy Americans
Never Smell Arseholes
Nieve Saleman About
No Safety Acceptance
Nausa Sampled Accident
Naked Sarcastic Actor

Necessary Sandwich Action ( It's nearly Lunch )

Naughty Sweaty Activity ( Like Running - BEHAVE )

Next Serious Agent
Never Sacrifice Affection
Normal Search Abort ( HATE 'NORMAL' )

Nice Smile Abby ( Thank You )

Numpty Seen Ahead ( My Personnal Fav ) = and with ref - i do know what it means !

SEX Written 19th Nov at 12:42pm

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Does NO-BODY reciprocate COFFEE AND CONVERSATION around here !!!
Is EVERYONE just after NSA and ONS FUN ?

* Shakes head and starts singing - Opens paper to ' Cats that need rehoming ' section again !! *

OK - so there are just a few of MY DIARY ENTRIES !

- and here are some of the replies that i have had !!

i read your profile,looked at pics and thought,that girl can be every thing to me ,mummy ,soulmate best girly freinds ,girlfreind and boyfreind,so i wanted to tell you,i would like you to take care of your boy,and i wanna look after you,? bit random but i no i need you for life? 07731925465 tex me please and tell me what to do next please mummy xxxx

An hour ago — Delete

( I HAD TO PUT THAT ONE FIRST BECAUSE - WELL - OMG !!  He even gave his number - ) 

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm no good at poetry
Nice boobs

26 minutes ago — Delete

And after coffee, I might have taken you up on your lasagne!

Hopefully you'll find someone that's not just after a quick shag then onto the next one  - You seem lovely and id love to have been closer - Keep up with the great Diary ! ... ;)

xx

32 minutes ago — Delete

..

am i ur type than??? you r my type - i love fat women Xx
35 minutes ago - Delete

meet up and fuck like 18yearoldsagainabby ?

38 minutes ago - Delete

your hot bae do you like younger guys ? I would like to buy you a coffee

39 minutes ago - Delete

Abby - im a Nice guy friendly kind and gentle with a hot sexy imagination and a twist of naughtiness

41 minutes ago - Delete

45 year old here abbi looking for fun and sexy times give me a ring if you want

41 minutes ago - Delete

Wow - i bet you have them all queing up

42 minutes ago - Delete

I love older bigger women and you like young guys i am 19. can i ring you ?

43 minutes ago - Delete

I'm 75 Abby, My name is Ray - I like your Diary - you are a very funny intelligent and sexy lady - would you like to chat

44 minutes ago - Delete

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So - You see - 
Only a very small selection mention weight !!!! and when they do - MOST sound genuine and actually nice - !!!
For your info - i have not taken any of these guys up on offers - because they are either too old - too young or living miles away - 

OR THE FIRST GUY WHO SOUNDS A LOON !! 

But - you see - just be Open and honest - 

and you'll usually get that back !! 
Since i started writing this blog - about 25 mins ago - i have had 89 messages on my Dating site - All along the lines of the above ! Im sure im going to find Mr Right !! = SOON !! - !!